TwitterScript - Second Draft
SCREENPLAY
SCENE ONE
EXT. STREET – DAY
En route to school
JAMES PETERS casually walks towards a shop to purchase some sweets but is then
confronted by a man just outside the shop.
Interested in the
sweets JAMES
JAMES PETERS
How much?
(In a deep and crusty voice)
STRANGE MAN
Av’ em fo’ free mate.
(JAMES With a surprised look takes the
sweets)
As puts the sweets
into his bag; he looks for the STRANGE MAN to thank him, but realises he is not
there anymore, Not making much of it, he looks at his watch and realises that
he is getting late for school, and swiftly breaks into a run.
END SCENE.
SCENE TWO
INT.SCHOOL - CANTEEN
- DAY
After JAMES has
finished his lunch, he opens up his bag and pulls out the sweets and eats one. After
he takes a bite of the sweet he feels a sharp cold sensation in which he
reacts.
(Sharply)
JAMES
That’s freezing cold.
As he says that word
the remaining people in, the lunch hall are now frozen still.
JAMES then looks up
and strangely sees that people have now stopped moving he moves over to a
person to inspect what has happened to them constantly poking them.
(Confused)
JAMES
Hello… Mate? (Poking them as he does so)
He then looks at the
sweet wrapper for what may have caused the place to freeze, to find that there
are instructions on the wrapper, that ‘all you have to say is freeze’ followed
by a much smaller print that say unfreeze.
(Following the instructions)
JAMES
UNFREEZE! (Loudly)
As he says Unfreeze, everybody starts to
continue again.
(The person he was next to poking)
STUDENT ONE
Are you okay there buddy?
(JAMES Smirks)
JAMES
FREEZE
UNFREEZE
FREEZE
UNFREEZE
FREEZE
UNFREEZE
FREEZE
He continuously says
Freeze and unfreeze to stop and reanimate people.
He is finding the
newly found powers humorous he then decides to play a prank on STUDENT ONE so
he ties his shoelaces together and then puts his face very close to the plate
that he is eating from.
(Then comically laughs)
JAMES
UNFREEZE
The plan then goes
in his favour as STUDENT ONE’S face falls onto his plate and is completely
covered in food, he tries to find a cloth but also falls over from the fact
that his shoelaces are tied
(Laughing)
JAMES
I LOVE THESE POWERS!
END SCENE.
MONTAGE SCENE
FIRST CLIP
INT. SCHOOL - CLASS
– DAY
In class, Teacher
sends out James for not paying attention.
(In frustration JAMES decides to get the
teachers Apple and gets it dirty before handing it back to him)
SECOND CLIP
EXT. SCHOOL -
PLAYGROUND – DAY
JAMES gets into a
situation with a bully, as he had thrown a ball at him by accident, he quickly
evades the situation by using his abilities.
THIRD CLIP
INT. SCHOOL – CLASS
JAMES is bored in
class, and as the Bell is about to ring, He ties everyone’s shoelaces together
just before they leave.
END MONTAGE SCENE.
SCENE FOUR
INT. SCHOOL – HALLWAY
– DAY
JAMES is now trying
to talk to a girl that he likes.
JAMES
Hey
LILY
He-
JACK
-GET AWAY FROM HER FREAK
JAMES, rather
frustrated with JACK trying to stop him from talking to the girl he likes,
freezes him and continuously hits him in the groin
JACK then reanimates
and feels a very strong pain in which he is kneels over and grabs his crotch
JACK
Owwwwwwwwwwwww!
LILY
Oh my god, are you okay babe?
JAMES who is now
devastated as he has now puzzled together the fact that Lily has a boyfriend is
heart-broken.
He stands there as
everything has gone mute to him and the sound of the bell sees everyone out.
He is then making
his slow way home.
END SCENE
SCENE FIVE
INT. HOUSE – Night
Weeks later after
JAMES comes home, sits down to watch TV, He notices that on TV, there has been
a robbery and the people involved have been apprehended.
(He then stands up holding the sweet packets
in his hand)
JAMES
I can have anything I want, why didn’t I
think of this before; I have the power!
ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS FREEZE.
As he says the words
‘freeze’, he has turned to the mirror and frozen himself.
Sometime later he is
discovered, and as he is being taken away the sweet packet has fallen from his
grasp into another person later on.
SCENE END
Our original script wasn't deemed to be an actual script, but rather another treatment: with considerably large paragraphs describing what is said or done by the characters, as one of the main issues, another was quotes from characters in the paragraph, instead of having a a line of space and then inserting the character's name and their line of dialogue. So, like our very first treatment, our script underwent some significant revamp: ranging from the font size and type, to the amount of dialogue (along with dialogue from other characters such as Lily and Jack)included, as well as the inclusion of a montage scene covering the various mischievous actions from James with the use of his powers. There's a bit more to the character arc also: for example, James is saddened when he puts two and two together and realises that the boy he was constantly hitting in the groin was Lily's boyfriend, illustrating his reaction to failing to achieve a goal, and how much his crush means to him, his sadness can perhaps be said to dilute the conflict temporarily, until the twist, which is once again caused by the depth of James' powers.
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